What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all About???

"An Art we Explore with Mystery and Integrity"

"Chocolate is sacred. There is an art to the alchemy of flavor infusion, an art we explore with mystery and integrity." (Dagoba organic chocolate bar wrapper)

Imprecise statements of this sort beg the questions: what is it that draws people to this kind of language? Is chocolate sacred? Can the noun "mystery" be used to modify the action "explore?" And, most importantly, what's so unorganic or unnatural about our everyday vernacular?

In the following paragraphs, I will attempt to translate the aforementioned claim into plain English.

"Chocolate is sacred"

This one's a no-brainer; after visiting chocolate museums from Belgium to Barcelona, I know that the ancient Incas, Mayans, and Aztecs used chocolate for religious ceremonies (although it's worth mentioning that the waxy substance we consider "chocolate" is far from what they actually consumed at the time).

"There is an art to the alchemy of flavor infusion"

According to dictionary.com, the word "art" has 16 potential meanings. I can safely assume the wise chocolate-package-writers at "Dagoba" were referring to this definition: "High quality of conception or execution."

Simple enough; there's a high quality way to do the "alchemy of flavor infusion." So, what does "alchemy" mean? Dictionary.com gives us two potential definitions:

1. A medieval chemical philosophy having as its asserted aims the transmutation of base metals into gold, the discovery of the panacea, and the preparation of the elixir of longevity.
2. A seemingly magical power or process of transmuting: "He wondered by what alchemy it was changed, so that what sickened him one hour, maddened him with hunger the next" (Marjorie K. Rawlings).

I'm guessing that the statement is indended to conjur up images of the first definition in the reader; suddenly, chocolate becomes more than a tasty dessert or indulgence...it can be not only sacred, but perhaps hold the key to the elixir of life!

However, they most likely meant the second definition in the literal sense. Thus, "There is an art to the alchemy of" translated into plain language likely means, "There is a high quality process of changing."

So, what is "flavor infusion?" Technically, an "infusion" is "something introduced," and a flavor is a "distinctive taste." Thus, the first half of the second sentence can be translated to mean: "There is a high quality way to go about introducing a distinctive taste," or even more colloqually, "There's a good way to make something tasty."

"An Art we explore with mystery and integrity"

While the above claims may feel overstated upon scrutiny, they nevertheless make some basic logical sense. However, this ending really makes me question my grasp of the English language.
Using our above definition of "art," we can continue to finish our translation by saying, "There is a high quality way to go about introducing a distinctive taste, a high quality way we explore with mystery and integrity."

The first major question I had upon first reading this statement was: can something be explored with mystery? Let's take it step by step: "explore" means, "To investigate systematically; examine," as in, "explore every possibility" (thanks again, dictionary.com).

So, Dagoba systematically investigates how to go about introducing a distinctive taste in a very high quality way; this makes sense. But can they be said to partake in this investigation "with mystery?" Integrity makes sense; integrity can mean morally sound and/or unimpaired, so you can go about the investigation in a morally sound and unimpaired way.

But mystery? The word "mystery" means, "something that is not fully understood or that baffles or eludes the understanding." Although both "mystery" and "integrity" are nouns, it just doesn't make logical sense that one could investigate how to introduce a distinctive taste in a very high quality way, one which is also morally sound and unimpaired, but is also not fully understood or that baffles the mind.

Just taking the three words, "explore with mystery," I'm hard pressed to figure out a clear way to dilute what specifically i'm supposed to be concluding here. This is the part of the statement that makes me question the vagueness of this kind of writing; is there some sort of value judgement connoted by it? Are mysterious explorations more enticing for some reason?

I love that life has some mystery; heaven forbid we humans become predictable! Yet, is this quality required for me to enjoy my chocolate bar? I'd go so far as to argue that I want the process of finding the best flavors to infuse into my chocolate to have as little to do with mystery as possible!

Anyway, the point isn't that this statement is "bad" or unuseful, but that the process of distilling the fluffy language surrounding many products (particularly those of the "natural" or "organic" variety) can be revealing. Often, what the claim leads us to conclude is far more interesting and enticing than what it is, literally, saying.

Of course, I'm not going to say I'm "beyond" the power of such statements; after all, it was me who purchased the bar in the first place! | posted by Cheryl, 2/14/2006 09:31:00 AM