Love is Easy, Relationships are Hard
This subject has come up repeatedly in my life recently, so here are my 5 cents:I love love! Love is so easy, because it simply arises. It occurs despite all potential negative traitsl; you love someone despite the fact that they snore, or that they are stubborn, or have bad breath in the morning...
Although through time it may becomes work to overlook the small things, in general I seldom question my love for close family members, friends, and relationship partners.
Romantic relationships, however...ay me! They are actively created by us imperfect folks, and have to do with so much more than love: timing, compatibility, communication styles, changes through time, and so much more...timing's been a biggie for me lately.
Love is so perfect, so transcendent, and so powerful that we often wish to will love into being strong enough to make a romantic relationship work. For many, of course it can! One may have an idea for the timeline of one's life (get married at age x, get job y at age z) and then completely change priorities once they meet their furture wife/husband due to the strength of that love (you'll notice i'm not even bothering to define platonic love versus romantic love, etc...it's just too late at night for me to do that!).
However, from my observations and personal experience, during one's mid-20s external life issues (timing, vocational questions, & existential angst, for example), which all feed into the creation of the relationship, can overwhelm the love to the point where love's simply not enough.
I don't know where I'm going with this; I suppose I observe confusion after break-ups which has to do with a confluence of the concepts of "love" and "relationships." When things don't work out in a relationship, people sometimes question the validity or strength of their love. However, especially at my stage in life (mid-20s) I often see it as reflecting a problem with the relationship. I suppose my main point is that separating the two can be useful! | posted by Cheryl, 2/06/2006 10:06:00 PM
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