What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all About???

"So much good, so much bad" or "some things never change"

When i was a senior in high school, my philosophy teacher posed the question: "are humans innately good or innately evil?" He made my classmates and I go to different corners of the room, depending on our decision.

Even at that young of an age I hated having to make a black and white decision, yet I went into the "good" camp and argued that people are "good" to themselves, although that may mean that they have to be "evil" towards others. I also said that I felt people are motivated by what "feels" good, and to me, doing "good" or prosocial things "feels" good.

Later that year, my teacher brought up the following point: if you put 100 5 year-olds in a room with a puppy, chances are that 97-99 of them will play with the puppy and be sweet and gentle...but there will always be that one kid who would like nothing better than to just punt that puppy into outer space and watch it suffer.

I've come back to that example a striking number of times, particularly when I feel surrounded by so much GOOD in my immediate life, yet year about so much bad shit that's going on in my back door (or the world's back door). In my day to day life, I interact with all these amazing people with big hearts who devote their lives to various causes through my work in the nonprofit organization 'bridges to understanding' www.bridgesweb.org). Yet, as I sit in my office, listening to NPR, I am updated constantly about the conflicts in Israel, Iraq, Africa, etc, and I just feel so ill-equipt to understand it all.

There are some questions that I didn't understand at the age of 15, such as the one above (or it's many variations...in general, the question of "why are some people motivated by 'good' and some by 'evil?') that I'm slowly beginning to realize I may never understand.

Perhaps it's because the question I'm asking is too general; "good" and "evil" are only meaningful or relevant in context of some more specific question. Actually, I'm certain of that...when I get into the specifics, I can see how things that first appear "evil" are more complexified (what's evil to one is good to another, etc). And there is definitely a difference between an "evil" act that is done to achieve some end that is "good" in the mind of the doer (such as a terrorist act) and an "evil" act that is done out of sheer pleasure in the act (such as rape and torture). I like getting into the specific derivations of the general "why are some evil?" question: why do some take pleasure in other peoples' pain? why is it easier for some to end human life than for others? in what ways do people convince themselves that an act that brings suffering to others is "good?"

I took a class in college called "Cruelty, Betrayal and Forgiveness." It was a Psych seminar, offered alongside another seminar titled "Love and Attachment." Love was full, so I took "cruelty" as my second choice. I thought, man, if there's anyone who can contribute little to this subject, it's me, because I have so little experience with anything even remotely cruel other than interpersonal stuff in social groups. After reading extensively on the subject, I still felt absolutely inept at processing the question of why some people take pleasure in others' pain by the end of the year, and continue to feel so now.

That brings me to the second part of my title ("some things never change")...i'm slowly beginning to realize that while there are some big, meta-questions that we slowly chip away at throughout our lives and eventually come to some answers about (such as, "what is my purpose?"), there are others that very well may elude me just as much when I'm 60 as they do now.

This theme has come up a bunch in the past week, don't ask me why...i think part of it is because I read this really interesting article from the Arts and Letters Daily website (it's AWESOME, check it out). The article argues that the culture of a typical american elderly home will bear a striking resemblance to that of a typical american high shcool; there's the "cool" group that sit in their corner of the cafeteria, the jealousy, the heartache, the breaking up and getting together, the secrets, and emotional highs and lows...

During this week, I've had conversations with friends, mostly about relationships, where one of both of us have asked, "Shouldn't we have gotten better at this through time?" or, more specifically, "Shouldn't I feel less (emotional, nervous, insecure) now that I'm older?" My answer to both myself and them has been: some things just won't change!

I think in the context of relationships, there are things that do change as you gain more experience, of course; for me, insecurity has dropped off somewhat as I've had more boyfriends/dating partners and just realized that, ok, these guys are not insane, there is something cool about me (i'm being a bit tongue in cheek here). Yet, there are certain aspects of the dymanic between potential romantic partners that I don't think will ever change: that nervous energy at the beginning, the honeymoon period, the questioning of whether it's "right," the pain of the break-ups...

It's slightly unsettling to think that I'll still be going through a permutation of this when I'm 40, but then again, it's slightly comforting as well...I know I can handle it. There WILL certainly be more complex factors to take into account once children, etc enter the mix (oh man...i cant' believe when she was my age, my mom was pregnant with my brother!!!), but I think a lot of my emotional landscape will bear a striking resemblance to my terrain at this moment...I suppose I've provided no supporting evidence for this prediction, you'll have to just take me at my word!

Ok, enough of this...I'm off to go on a hike in Hurricane Ridge with Shannon, Chris and Mike Shafer, I'm pumped...will take more pics for sure (have been on a pic kick lately, am loving it). | posted by Cheryl, 8/11/2006 03:33:00 PM