Lucy Winter Baggett is born!
Tonight I was the closest I've been to seeing a live birth. It was incredible...one of the few times in life where you are uttely in the moment, captivated by the unbelievable beauty of LIFE! More later, but for now I'll post some pics of Jason Baggett, Bethany Palma, and their unbelievably sweet baby Lucy. She was making all these cute shapes with her mouth and was just amazing when I saw her, which was only 1/2 hour after she had popped out of Bethany! Jason was crying and it was just so emotional and wonderful and Bethany was exhausted after 3 days of labor but so relieved and happy and all the families and friends who could make it were there and it was beautiful. | posted by Cheryl, 12/19/2006 01:32:00 AM | 2 comments |
Ponies and things
When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be an artist. Specifically, an horse-artist. I was one of those girls who would doodle ponies in the corner of my multiplication time-table sheets and would spend hours imaging the farm I would have one day. I harbored this perfect drawing of a horse in my mind; it looked about like this:
Day after day, I'd sit with my #2 pencil in hand and try to sketch out this perfect image. I don't know why, but I felt a strong desire to put it all on paper. But alas, it would invariably end up coming out a lot like this:
I even tried checking out one of those "step by step" drawing manuals from my elementary school library (with big circles inside the horses, like this):
No matter what I tried, I always ended up frustrated that the horse in my mind would not match the horse on paper in front of me. I felt the same way about handwriting; it's funny, when I look at kid handwriting now I think that it's so sweet and cute, but I remember as a child thinking, "Why do adults think this is cute? This is so embarassing, I want it to look much better!"
Yet, I think I had a bit of a breakthrough on that front recently. Wheras in the past, I've been very much concerned with what I should do vocationally, this year I've been engaging in work that I find incredibly satisfying. The best way I have to describe it is that it's not that I've found an answer to what I'm going to "do with my life," but I am engaged in activities that preclude me from asking that question. Sure, there are still times when I look at my friends and think, "Gosh, look, they're halfway through med school, practicing law, flying planes, teaching classrooms, and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do when i 'grow up,'" but those times are fewer and farther between.
Plus, I look at myself through their eyes and think, "Gosh, look at her - she has a job that allows her an incredible amount of freedom where she gets to travel to India and New Mexico
and learn really cool web-design skills and work with amazing people!" Working at Bridges and for Phil truly have been blessings. I can't believe how much I've learned since March - I helped Phil write the stories for his book "Women Empowered," I learned how to manage an office and coordinate international photography and digital storytelling workshops (with many mistkaes along the way, mind you), I saw a small 3 person nonprofit through a merger with another small nonprofit and undergo an incrediby smooth transfer of power and leadership, I oversaw 2 (and almost 3 now) office moves, I have met some incredible people through our board of directors and a visit to Boston at a "gathering of digital storytellers," I've seen our work pay off in New Mexico, Seattle and India firsthand, and (most importantly) I've learned how to work with a bunch of amazing, inspiring, overachievers!
Bridges has become like a small family to me. We all support each other, help each other out vocationally and in our personal lives, and even appreciate each other's work - I can't count how many times people have thanked me for doing my JOB! Who can ask for more? Yes, I have seen my share of tears of frustration this year, of course, and every day I still tackle seemingly-insurmountable logistical and (often...ooh too often) technological hills, but somehow we get by. I'm incredibly lucky, and I also work incredibly hard so it all works out very well indeed.
I also just started working part time at my old office at the UWMC the other week, which will work out nicely because I will now receive a good benefits package and will be in another really good office environment. That job continues to teach me a lot about how to work with people (face to face exchanges are better than email), how to organize an office (have a paper trail, naming conventions for files, and just be organized in general!), and how to keep a pretty big hospital safe. It's a huge job with people who often don't get enough credit, and I'm grateful for their examples of hard work.
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This time of year is always thought-provoking for me; I know many people resist the "top (x) of the year" and "new year's resolutions!" articles and specials, but I really like the idea of taking some time out to reflect upon the past year. This is particularly useful to me because I tend to be so hard on myself and/or future-driven that I forget how far I've come. I realized that just as I was writing about my jobs above - I really hadn't seen the big picture or remembered all my job-related anxiety from a year ago until now.
The past year has seen it's share of heartache and ambiguity, yet I feel closer than ever to finding what will ultimately work for me in the "intimate relationship" sphere of my life. I have grown up with the idea that I will turn out just like my parents, but I see now that perhaps I have taken that a bit too literally. I want to approach life and people the way they do - I want to raise children to have a social conscience, to delight in the small things, and to learn to work hard but also take time to enjoy your harvest.
Yet, I know I won't achieve those things in the exact same way they did - on the one hand, that would be impossible since my mom was pregnant with my older brother when she was my age! But on a more serious note, I've begun to accept the fact that most likely, I will not just meet someone and have that "A-ha!" moment, get married within a year, and live happily ever after. This is something most people accept at the age of 14, but since it happened to my parents and grandparents, I think I've always just thought it would "happen" to me as well. I suppose the point isn't whether it will or won't happen, but that I have accepted that I will be fine whatever happens, and that my path to happiness will be entirely different than anyone else's or anything I've ever expected.
I'm in a funny place about that...I pay more attention to babies these days, and I see that Cheryl I've always imagined in the future, raising a family, being the mother figure (heck, i still get the "mom" nickname from different groups today - my old soccer team called me that, as well as my swing dancing friends), yet I don't really feel a rush. At the same time, I also don't feel a particular need to have "flings;" I suppose as always I'm looking for something meaningful, whether that is something that leads to a long-term relationship or not. I trust that whatever happens will work for me, although being the impatient person I am I sometimes want to "know" the answers sooner.
After deconstructing everything about the world in college, I don't think i need to necessarily get married or all of that stuff on an intellectual level, but emotionally, that is something I see for myself someday. This year saw many marriages, most notably my SISTER's amazing marriage to Kevin and the melding of our families...we are so lucky, I love her in-laws and they couldn't be happier. The wedding was perfect and I can't say enough about them as a coupe.
I think. A lot. I think myself in circles and that can be a bad thing, but this year, my thoughts have led me to some really interesting places! As I wrote about in March, I had to make a couple really big decisions this year: I chose a job that gave me less stability but would feed my passions for anthropology, psychology, creativity, and working with people at Bridge s(see above).
Suraj and I chose to break-up despite the fact that we still loved each other deeply; the aftershocks continued through the summer but we now consider each other very close friends, which has given me a huge sense of relief and a feeling of rightness in the world. I knew it before, but now I really know that it takes more than love to make a relationship work. I'm excited to see what the future will hold for both of us.
I decided my life was stable enough (travel-wise) for me to move out of my parents' house, so in June I moved into a sweet little duplex in the Central District with the adorable Anna, whom I didn't know yet but would soon spend hours into the night talking to about boys, dancing, and all the other important things in the world. We painted our kitchen bright pink, blue and green, stayed up too late eating cookies and talking about ourselves, and hosted many bbq's, hang-out sessions, and dance get-togethers. It was everything I thought college would be and I couldn't be happier with my living situation (except for the matter of safety, but I'll leave that for another day).
I started feeding my passion for soccer once again by assistant coaching a U-14 girls' team. I have learned so much about leadership, growth and the teenaged years...there are some areas where I've consistently been lacking, incusing assertiveness and discipline, but I hope I've made up for it in inspiration. I'm not as effective of a coach as I am a player, and I'm not sure why, but i think some of it has to do with the fact that I am used to leading by example, which is hard to do when you can't join the girls on the field during a game. The head coach is very effective and I'm learning a ton from the experience.
In the spring, I started swing dancing more and more often due to the confluence of gaining a job that allowed me to sleep in and having more time after the break-up. Jazz has gotten into my bones and I don't think it's going to leave anytime soon. I didn't even really think about it until now, but my social life has changed pretty dramatically due to dancing; whereas my social activities used to be confined to "hanging out," watching movies, doing various activities in seattle (which i still LOVE), now I find myself more physically active, dancing 3-5 nights a week. It suits me...the multitude of people (many, but not an indimidatingly large amount), the energy and adrenaline that come from the actual dance, the inspiration from the music, and the bonds with my friends...the lifestyle is perfect for me because it's a fun, active, social sphere that doesn't involve alcohol primarily (not that there's anything wrong with that, but since I don't drink it just makes it that much easier). The friends I've made are just incredible...I can't even begin to start describing them or I'd be here all day. Ooh, and I joined a dance performance team which has been challenging but very fun - we have a show in June and you are all invited!
This year, I also joined a book club, which may seem like a small thing, but it's given me a much-needed academic fix, plus some quality time with my dear friend Angela whom I don't see often because we're...adults now. Wow, i didn't really think of it that way until now.
At the beginning of the year, I outlined my goals for 2006- the main areas were "food, fitness and finances" and I performed them in that order, food being the best ( i now eat fruits and veggies EVERY day), fitness being second best (I've recovered almost fully from the knee injury and am doing cardio more than half the week), and financess being the area where i need to improve the most (I need to keep better track of my money; swing dancing has been a bit of a drain but it's worth it for social capital; i have to start a retirement thingie...yes, i have a lot to learn about money). I'm fairly happy with my performance and am dedicated to doing even better in 2007.
This year, I took more risks than I characteristically take - living in a place slightly less safe than I'd like, taking a less stable job, and taking various risks with my heart. I suppose that's just a part of growing up - I no longer have the luxury of staying in my comfort zone.
Free association time: I'm happy I've stayed in touch with friends from youth while making more closer connections. I need to sleep more. I have a wonderful cat at the apartment named Freya who loves affection more than any cat i've ever known. I had a few disasterous cooking experiences related to, among other things, vegetables in dispose-alls which did NOT dispose-all (THANKS again Dad for cleaning that up) and bland Moroccan Chickpea Stew (it may pay to actually buy the expensive spices). I got to learn an amazing software program called "Adobe Premiere" which allows you to make little documentaries with sound and motion on photos that come out like videos; it reminds me of arts and crafts along with Engish, two of my favorite hobbies as a young person. It's strangely satisfying. I've learned that I will do anything not to clean the bathroom; I love washing the dishes. I've learned to be ok with spending a lot of time at something I am not naturally good at (dancing)...this has been very challenging. My dear 1986 Honda Accord is dying a slow death. Some girls at the Tibetan Children's Village in Dharamsala, India hand-drew an amazing line-up of women's fashion for me and my friend Kristin Eddings, who is Miss Washington this year and one of the most amazing people I've met (she is the REAL DEAL, as I said in a former posting!). I went to our family's cabin with friends twice this year and reaffirmed that the ocean is one of the most relaxing places on earth. Nothing is better than my pink fuzzy slippers. Chocolate chip cookies are still my favorite food. I joined an online community called "myspace.com" which has allowed me to stay more connected with dancers around the world but which can also become an incredible "time-suck." I would have loved it in high school. I rediscovered a love for music this year, especially swing-era stuff. I work in Fremont right across from the PCC and get a disproportional amount of happiness from buying one thing at a time (ie one orange, a few pretzles, etc) than you'd expect. I still love running more than any other physical activity (aside from soccer) but the social aspect makes swing dancing more lovable overall. I can't believe it's almost Christmas. For the first time in my life i find myself saying "where has the time gone."
And now, back to #1...I need to sleep more! | posted by Cheryl, 12/08/2006 07:28:00 AM | 8 comments |
