I Feel GOOD!
I have been feeling extremely good this week, and I will postulate the following hypothoses as potential explanations:1) I finally decided to forgo dancing in order to get adaquate sleep. MY BRAIN FEELS SO MUCH BETTER, and I don't even miss dancing THAT much! (but i shall be out tonight)
2) My cold, which has been bothering me on and off for the last 2 1/2 months, seems to prefer Anna and has thus jumped into her side of the house (apologies, my dear roomate!). I'm still blowing my nose a bit, but have lost that cloudy-headed, pressure-headache feeling.
3) I've been more vigilant about getting adaquate exercise (forgoing potential social activities and dancing in order to do so), which i believe has contributed to some extra endorphins and general "good blood" feelings in my whole system.
4) Summer = good fruits and veggies, and i've been eating pretty healthily lately (although i still maintain my 2 cookie a day quota...)
5) I made use of this big whiteboard at work and have been doing a lot of big picture organization/definition at work, which helps me feel "on top of" my job and prevents me from getting lost in the minutae as much.
Well, the list could go on, but those are the main factors, I believe. I'm not sure which is the most important (although i think the sleep and absence of the cold have a ton to do with it), but I am just feeling more like my normal giddy cheryl self this week. It feels sort of like being reunited with an old friend!
The interesting thing is that I've found myself thinking more interesting thoughts lately, or just...paying attention to my thoughts more...I got totally absorbed yesterday in the car just thinking about "information systems" and "information management," and how I wish i had studied some IT stuff in college, and how there are so many different ways to manage information, and how our brains work, and how little we really know, and then i started to see the potential future Cheryls: neurologist, psych professor, 5th grade teacher, mother, nonprofit exec, daughter, penguin whisperer, and it was just...stimulating, and good. I like thinking!
The weird thing is that my RA (rheumatoid arthritis) is acting up, which usually is correlated with energy lows, feelings of lethargy (relative lethargy...i'm still bouncy cheryl throughout this, but the sinusoidal waves of my bounciness can get more or less intense, hehe)...but in this case, i feel great energy-wise despite my fingers feeling a dull, burning pain off an on throughout the day...i feel very fortunate for that.
Anyway, I just wanted to mark my mood down on paper so that in years to come I can look back and see that August 30, 2006 was a good day to be Cheryl Crow. I suppose the Hurricane Katrina awareness has factored into this perspective as well; hearing so many stories about people who've lost so much makes me feel very lucky to be where I am. | posted by Cheryl, 8/30/2006 05:04:00 PM | 0 comments |
Cool quotes
• Imagine the brain, that shiny mound of being, that mouse-gray parliament of cells, that dream factory, that petit tyrant inside a ball of bone, that huddle of neurons calling all the plays, that little everywhere, that fickle pleasuredome, that wrinkled wardrobe of selves stuffed into the skull like too many clothes in a gym bag. - Diane Ackerman ( American poet and prose writer, whose works on science and natural history reflect a wonder of the natural world. Diane Ackerman describes herself as a sensuist.)
• People sometimes ask me about all of the science in my work, thinking it odd that I should wish to combine science and art, and assuming that I must have some inner pledge or outer maxim I follow. But the hardest job for me is trying to keep science out of my writing. We live in a world where amino acids, viruses, airfoils, and such are common ingredients in our daily sense of Nature. Not to write about Nature in its widest sense, because quasars or corpuscles are not "the proper realm of poetry," as a critic once said to me, is not only irresponsible and philistine, it bankrupts the experience of living, it ignores much of life's fascination and variety. - Diane Ackerman
• The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be either good or evil. (Hannah Arendt, a political philosopher, specialized in analyzing the rise of totalitarianism, with special attention to Nazi Germany.)
It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others. (Jane Austen)If you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. Planets, lives.... But close up a world's all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern.- Ursula LeGuin
• We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. - Anais Nin
“It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.” arnold toynbee
-Sit down and put down everything that comes into your head and then you're a writer. But an author is one who can judge his own stuff's worth, without pity, and destroy most of it. "
Colette (1873-1954)
Colette was a writer known for her novels in which women were depicted as full sexual beings. Her husband published her first works under his own name. Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette married twice and was involved with women and men outside her marriages. One of the most famous adaptations of Colette's work was the play and movie, Gig-colette A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts.
“Pleasure is often spoiled by describing it.” -Stendhal
-"It is not power that corrupts, but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts,"
Aung San Suu Kyi
1991, Burma (Myanmar)
-“Health is the first muse, and sleep is the condition to produce it”
Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes-“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy.”
Lao Tzu quotes (Chinese taoist Philosopher, founder of Taoism, wrote "Tao Te Ching" (also "The Book of the Way"). 600 BC-531 BC)
Buddha quotes (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)
W. Clement Stone quotes (American best selling Author and Founder of Combined Insurance Co (now a part of Aon Corp.), 1902-2002)
-“No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.”
-When asked by a reporter something like :"What, in your opinion is the most important question facing humanity today?" Einstein thought for a bit then replied, "I think the most important question facing humanity is, 'Is the universe a friendly place?' This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.
"For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.
"If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially 'playing dice with the universe', then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.
"But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives."
Albert Einstein[33], quoted without a source, as is common with Einstein quotes, at http://www.nlpu.com/Articles/Sept_11.html
Book Club Bliss
So, on Sunday we had the 5th official meeting of our Book Club and discussed Tom Robbins' "Jitterbug Perfume." Since I was the person who presented the 4 choices of books last meeting, I hosted the meeting and led the discussion.First, allow me to set the scene: we met at my grandmother's place and lounged comfortably in her garden for a relaxing afternoon of good food, friends, and, oh yes, very deep discussions about life, death, and the historical and literary implications of Robbins' choice of the "beet" as a symbol of life everlasting...but, as with most book club discussions, the most interesting topics arose in our tangential side-conversations!
One thing that struck me at this meeting was how books can be useful/enjoyable on so many different levels, and how these levels don't necessarily intersect or overlap...for example, I LOVE reading Robbins' intricate and creative metaphor-packed sentences and enjoy how his overall themes make me think about the big questions in life (why are we here? what happens when we die? why are beets so damn tasty?), yet I don't think his type of book provokes the best conversation.
If we're judging books by how well they provoke conversation, I'd generally say that the books people like the least can often provoke the best conversation, because people tend to be very passionate and specific about their dislikes (while we're generally vaugue about our likes...isn't that funny? i mentioned this a bit on my post about bad movie reviews).
Anyway, we did end having a pretty good conversation about the book, but my favorite part was just relaxing and chatting it up with the ladies...my main link to the girls in the club is Angela, one of my dearest friends from high school. The rest of the girls are either friends or family members of Angela, and it's been really great getting to know people with different perspectives on life from me! We have a really diverse group personality-wise, but we share three common loves: laughter, food, and, of course, books (in that order? not sure!)...looking forward to reading the "book thief" for september's meeting!
Pictured below are Angela and Jaqui with the lovely brie and bread plate; me posing with the book (tee hee); and, finally, angela looking pretty as a picture in the garden!
| posted by Cheryl, 8/28/2006 03:03:00 PM
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Girls' night in...
On Friday night, Madeline and Darla came over and, among other things, we:1) took a field trip to the local am/pm to get real milk (all i had was soy) to make chocolate pudding pie
2) cooked some splendid mediterranean chicken with green olives, prunes, white wine and couscous (YUM!)
3) watched Darla make a shirt...dang, that girl is crafty!
4) discussed bodily functions while rolling around the couch in a VERY mature matter
5) fed each other said chocolate creme pie
6) yelled at Julia Roberts while watching "My Best Friend's Wedding"
7) took a mini-nap on my uber-comfortable bed
8) outlined plans for the all girl social club for swing dancers"Club Orange"...more to come soon!
Pictured below are: madeline eating from the chocolate creme pie batter; us showing off our tongues; and Darla feeding Madeline some pie!
| posted by Cheryl, 8/28/2006 02:48:00 PM
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Why does the "New Orleans" Restaurant rock my world?
There will be more posts devoted to this splendid event in the future, but for now I wanted to post a couple pictures I took at Seattle's New Orleans Restaurant...it's where I go every Thursday from 7-10 to eat good creole food, listen to the Ham Carson band rock some hot jazz, and dance in between the wooden tables and admist the startled/enthusiastic diners, many of whom appear to have never seen Lindy Hop before...I took a bunch of video clips on my new digital camera but only took a few pictures...here you will see Brian, Jocelyn and I, then a few of Adrienne and I "posin"...
Anyway, the New Orelans experience is the closest I've ever had to being a "regular"...the dancers sit at the same table every week, heckle the band members lovingly, and go absolutely crazy when they are "on"...the band members are mostly older men (we're talking 60 plus) who refuse to let old age stop them from playing on...it's an incredibly inspirational and FUN experience! I can't imagine Thursdays without it...
| posted by Cheryl, 8/28/2006 02:13:00 PM
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Behold, my back!
So, the Seattle Times featured an article today on the "Century Masters of Lindy Hop and Tap" event that starts today...my aunt emailed me this morning to alert me that my back is, indeed, featured on the front page picture of the entertainment section! I am so proud. Tee hee. It IS exciting, just to know that not only is this amazing dance (which originated in Harlem in the 20s) alive and kicking today, I can watch/learn from the original innovators who are STILL loving this dance in their 90s!Not to sound defensive (ha!), but I feel compelled to add that in the past week I have completed the following non-dance activities: went on a hike at Hurricane Ridge with Shan, Chris, Mike and his friend Sarah, went roller blading and swimming with Courtney, went out for brunch with the high school posse, instrumented a team bonding event for the soccer team i'm helping coach, and...well, that's it. Hehe. It's just very easy to report on all the exciting stuff happening with swing because it's still new to me.
Anyway, I need to get back to work, but I had to post this before I forgot! | posted by Cheryl, 8/16/2006 09:46:00 AM | 2 comments |
"So much good, so much bad" or "some things never change"
When i was a senior in high school, my philosophy teacher posed the question: "are humans innately good or innately evil?" He made my classmates and I go to different corners of the room, depending on our decision.Even at that young of an age I hated having to make a black and white decision, yet I went into the "good" camp and argued that people are "good" to themselves, although that may mean that they have to be "evil" towards others. I also said that I felt people are motivated by what "feels" good, and to me, doing "good" or prosocial things "feels" good.
Later that year, my teacher brought up the following point: if you put 100 5 year-olds in a room with a puppy, chances are that 97-99 of them will play with the puppy and be sweet and gentle...but there will always be that one kid who would like nothing better than to just punt that puppy into outer space and watch it suffer.
I've come back to that example a striking number of times, particularly when I feel surrounded by so much GOOD in my immediate life, yet year about so much bad shit that's going on in my back door (or the world's back door). In my day to day life, I interact with all these amazing people with big hearts who devote their lives to various causes through my work in the nonprofit organization 'bridges to understanding' www.bridgesweb.org). Yet, as I sit in my office, listening to NPR, I am updated constantly about the conflicts in Israel, Iraq, Africa, etc, and I just feel so ill-equipt to understand it all.
There are some questions that I didn't understand at the age of 15, such as the one above (or it's many variations...in general, the question of "why are some people motivated by 'good' and some by 'evil?') that I'm slowly beginning to realize I may never understand.
Perhaps it's because the question I'm asking is too general; "good" and "evil" are only meaningful or relevant in context of some more specific question. Actually, I'm certain of that...when I get into the specifics, I can see how things that first appear "evil" are more complexified (what's evil to one is good to another, etc). And there is definitely a difference between an "evil" act that is done to achieve some end that is "good" in the mind of the doer (such as a terrorist act) and an "evil" act that is done out of sheer pleasure in the act (such as rape and torture). I like getting into the specific derivations of the general "why are some evil?" question: why do some take pleasure in other peoples' pain? why is it easier for some to end human life than for others? in what ways do people convince themselves that an act that brings suffering to others is "good?"
I took a class in college called "Cruelty, Betrayal and Forgiveness." It was a Psych seminar, offered alongside another seminar titled "Love and Attachment." Love was full, so I took "cruelty" as my second choice. I thought, man, if there's anyone who can contribute little to this subject, it's me, because I have so little experience with anything even remotely cruel other than interpersonal stuff in social groups. After reading extensively on the subject, I still felt absolutely inept at processing the question of why some people take pleasure in others' pain by the end of the year, and continue to feel so now.
That brings me to the second part of my title ("some things never change")...i'm slowly beginning to realize that while there are some big, meta-questions that we slowly chip away at throughout our lives and eventually come to some answers about (such as, "what is my purpose?"), there are others that very well may elude me just as much when I'm 60 as they do now.
This theme has come up a bunch in the past week, don't ask me why...i think part of it is because I read this really interesting article from the Arts and Letters Daily website (it's AWESOME, check it out). The article argues that the culture of a typical american elderly home will bear a striking resemblance to that of a typical american high shcool; there's the "cool" group that sit in their corner of the cafeteria, the jealousy, the heartache, the breaking up and getting together, the secrets, and emotional highs and lows...
During this week, I've had conversations with friends, mostly about relationships, where one of both of us have asked, "Shouldn't we have gotten better at this through time?" or, more specifically, "Shouldn't I feel less (emotional, nervous, insecure) now that I'm older?" My answer to both myself and them has been: some things just won't change!
I think in the context of relationships, there are things that do change as you gain more experience, of course; for me, insecurity has dropped off somewhat as I've had more boyfriends/dating partners and just realized that, ok, these guys are not insane, there is something cool about me (i'm being a bit tongue in cheek here). Yet, there are certain aspects of the dymanic between potential romantic partners that I don't think will ever change: that nervous energy at the beginning, the honeymoon period, the questioning of whether it's "right," the pain of the break-ups...
It's slightly unsettling to think that I'll still be going through a permutation of this when I'm 40, but then again, it's slightly comforting as well...I know I can handle it. There WILL certainly be more complex factors to take into account once children, etc enter the mix (oh man...i cant' believe when she was my age, my mom was pregnant with my brother!!!), but I think a lot of my emotional landscape will bear a striking resemblance to my terrain at this moment...I suppose I've provided no supporting evidence for this prediction, you'll have to just take me at my word!
Ok, enough of this...I'm off to go on a hike in Hurricane Ridge with Shannon, Chris and Mike Shafer, I'm pumped...will take more pics for sure (have been on a pic kick lately, am loving it). | posted by Cheryl, 8/11/2006 03:33:00 PM | 2 comments |
Seattle Lindy Exchange pics + thoughts on "ignorance is bliss"
So, here are some pictures from the 6th annual "Seattle Lindy Exchange." For those of you who don't know, "lindy" refers to the "lindy hop," a form of swing dance that I've been doing a lot lately (you would have to be pretty oblivious to have missed this!). "Lindy exchanges" occur when a particular city decides to sponsor a weekend's worth of dances and social events to allow dancers from all over the country to meet each other, share some awesome dances, and just have fun!
Anna and I hosted 6 people from Oregon, Canada and Utah in our freshly painted apartment, and it really felt like a big sleepover! We ate cocoa crispies, marshmallow munchies, and cap'n crunch in the kitchen while talking about our lives and bonding over pop culture references...it actually felt a lot like the first weekend of college again! I love the part of my personality that comes out when i'm meeting new people...i get this natural high, this giddiness, and find myself generally enamored of whomever I meet. I think these kinds of events really bring out the best in people, as we search for common ground and connection.A quick word on the images: I really like this picture (on the left) of Justin dancing with a popsicle in his mouth! I took it on Sunday afternoon when we danced outside at the Seattle Center...it was really hot, but the organizers provided yummy snacks (in the form of popsicles and ice cream sandwiches) so we survived...
Here's a picture of a new friend I made, named Matt, who lives in LA! We had lots of goofy dances...it's so cool how, after dancing for a while, you can appreciate the most subtle, funny thing someone does. Matt would do some really "micro" movements, then throw in something a little crazy or jerky, and we'd both just laugh. I think creativity is one of the things i enjoy most in a dancer, plus a proclivity to laugh! It's fascinating to me how big of an effect personality can have on a dance, at least for me...I enjoy dances where you can detect a twinkle in your partner's eye, a playfulness or willingness to just have fun.Well, at least, that's how i've been approaching dancing for a while...as a sort of lark, something I
do for fun, as a stress relief and way to meet people and rediscover a love for jazz music. Yet, as I've started dance more often, it's become something I'd like to study and "work on," and i'm not sure how I feel about that...I HATE the feeling of stagnation (that i'm not improving), but I also don't want to lose the effortless fun I have on the dance floor.
Last night, I invited over a dancer whose style and opinions I really admire and trust (Matt M) to look at dancing video clips and practice the fundamentals. Our friend Joe stopped by and gave his feedback as well, and it was just so fascinating to get down to the most rudimentary basics and see how the smallest change in posture could make an enormous difference in how I felt as a follow.
Yet...Joe was a bit cautionary when he heard I was going to start really practicing and trying to become more comfortable with the dance. He brought up the question of whether i really wanted to get into these specifics and warned me that "ignorance is bliss." He predicted that as I discover more of the nitty gritties of the dance, my estimation of what is "good" both in my own dancing and in the dancing of others will change and "social dancing will never be the same" (ie I will not be able to enjoy dancing with "bad" dancers anymore because i'll be aware of all the little things they are doing "wrong").
Yet, call me naive or wildly optimistic, but i just don't see that happening with myself. Firstly, because he predicted it, I now want to prove him wrong! I always want to be the exception to these sorts of social rules...if most dancers become more "snobby" or exclusive as they improve, i want to be that one that continues to be friendly towards everyone. Plus, that's just always been my personality, and I can't see that changing as my dancing improves, yet...
And yet, I am a bit worried about delving deeper into "the scene," because I want to continue to be a well-rounded person (not that I think there is anything wrong with being deep rather than wide - I just have always had so many interests that I can't bear to give up some, like soccer, for others). I have already noticed that my interest in dancing has left me less available to see my many nondancing friends and family, and I also want to remain available for interesting volunteer opportunities that may come up (I have been chatting with a woman who works at a correctional facility in the women and family unit, which sounds really fascinating).
I suppose, like most things, there will be no one right answer...i just have to remember to keep my life in balance!Oh, and i couldn't resist putting this last picture in...it's of Anna and her friend's baby...how cute is Anna, and the baby? Anna got those amazing sunglasses at Fred Meyer on our way to the Golden Gardens park on Saturday...pics from that to come soon!!! | posted by Cheryl, 8/08/2006 09:56:00 AM | 0 comments |
Seattle Lindy Exchange!
Text to come; for now i'm just posting some pics!
| posted by Cheryl, 8/08/2006 09:54:00 AM
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BBQ pics #2
Well, i still haven't figured out how to post more than 4 pictures in one entry...anyway, here you have a flying monica in our backyard, then a happy massage circle in the living room, then some fun tinted pics of Anna and Darla eating and me, Brian and Anna goofing off in the backyard! I LOVE MY NEW HOUSE and the crazy people i've met through swing dancing!
| posted by Cheryl, 8/01/2006 11:05:00 AM
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